Mind Fires

I nearo out of Tehachapi. I haven’t fully restored my reserves but don’t want to spend anymore money in town. Plus Duckats, V, Stealth, 11, and Mountain Goat are a few miles ahead of me. So if I leave now I’ll be able to catch up with them tonight. It will be good to have a crew to hike with for this next bone dry section.

The wind is gusting and strong as i begin the ascent. My legs are only half interested in powering me. My mind is elsewhere. I didn’t really finish my town chores and left emails and phone calls hanging. As I hike I begin to dwell on these. I compose emails and conversations in my mind. Things start getting out of hand in my head. The wind seems to be fanning these mind fires. Before I know it I’m super pissed off and sobbing alone on the side of a mountain. Now The wind is rustling up all kinds of old stuff. Inside I’m a filing cabinet taken by a storm – papers flying everywhere, out of order, out of control, furious.

Calm down.

I look on my map for the next tent site. It’s close by. I crawl under some trees and find it. I take off my pack, drink some water, breath. It’s ok.

I throw myself a line and bring me back down to earth. Wow. It’s crazy when you merge too closely with the elements. ¬†What do I need? I change my socks, put on a windshirt, eat an avacado. Little by little the cyclone inside settles. I hike seven more miles to a serene meadow. I find a friendly tree and roll out my sleeping pad and bag under it. No more wind, no more emotional upheaval.